So you’ve been wanting to take a bigger girl out to dinner, but you’re worried it might not be affordable or doable, well think again. If you like big girls like I do, you don’t mind the idea of a dinner date, in fact you look forward to it because you love watching girls eat. Great, because a dinner date is one of your best opportunities to impress a big girl, showing her that you’re a true gentleman that cares about her, that wants to treat her right. With these easy steps, you can wheelchair her ass up the table and order the food in peace, knowing full well you’ll save a lot of money and bang her out in no time flat.
Some back story: As you know, I’ve gotten many quickies with my foodtruck over the years. I’ll be honest, the foodtruck was a logistical crutch. All I would have to do is invite them inside for some extra corndogs after making some small talk. That’s how I got 90% of my quick bangs. But now it’s in the shop for repairs. It may never hit the road ever again, in fact it’ll probably go to foodtruck heaven after all them times the big ladies and I shook it up. Now it looks like it was totaled in a car crash. God bless the foodtruck, rest in pieces baby. Anyway, now I started taking girls out to dinner again, and I’ve perfected into a 6 step plan.
Step 1: Look for BBWs on Craigslist’s dating sections, try to find a bigger girl that is looking for romance. Recently I lucked out when I spotted a post with the title: Very Big Beautiful Woman looking for her Prince Charming. Since her picture was that of a very plus sized black woman, my response email started off with “Redbone Romeo just got his paycheck.” That was the subject line, attached to the email was a semi nude picture of myself, one that I photoshopped to make my skin lighter. I kept the message short, mentioning plans for a dinner date. It only took two emails to get her number.
Step 2: Get her to agree to meet you at the restaurant. If you pick a good, fairly upscale restaurant, then flaking isn’t really an issue, especially If she thinks you’re going to pay. If you can’t decide on a restaurant, a steak house is always a good choice. Again, don’t worry if the restaurant is pricey, and don’t let her worry about it, because it won’t matter. What she won’t know is that the free meal is just bait to get her ass out, into our Big Game trap.
If you have to pick her up, make sure you are driving a large vehicle that can support heavier loads.
Quick Story: One BBW I took out to dinner recently, she needed me to pick her up, so I borrowed my friend’s pickup-truck. When I pulled up to her house and she waddled out, my jaw just dropped. God damnnn, her ass was so thick it could have sunk the Titanic. She was pushing 600 pounds already, I had to pull out a special ramp just to help her into the back of the truck. It was hard work that took a lot of muscle, phew… Once she was in, I tied her down with rope, put up the oversized load sign on the back, and we were off. She moaned loudly every time I went over speed bumps.
Also, be sure to pick a restaurant that’s out of town, I’ll explain why soon.
Step 3: Once you help her inside, know how to deal with the waiter or manager if they have any issues. Usually getting a table isn’t problematic, but you’ll start to notice the manager watching over you like a hawk by the time the waiter asks you if you’re ready to order.
Quick Story: One time my girl and I were peacefully reading our menus when the manager approached us with a nasty look on his face, and said “sorry to interrupt your dining experience, but I just want to personally take your order to make sure you get what you need.” He gave me a good stern look, then looked at my date, and then me again; I knew what he was really thinking. You probably guessed it, he was wondering if we would actually be able to pay for the enormous amount of food she would probably eat. To top it off, being black in the south doesn’t exactly help. So I handled this situation in the most dignified manner I knew how, by loudly proclaiming to my girl, “Baby, you can eat WHATEVER you want! Don’t worry about what he thinks.” And I said it loud enough that the whole room could hear it, cause that’s how you amog the manager of a restaurant. Then I heard a deafening applause. I had received a standing ovation from every patron in the room, so I just had to get out of my seat, and bow deeply. It felt like I was about to accept a Noble prize in Fat Acceptance or Big Game. What an honor… And of course with every patron on my side, the manager had no choice but to accept defeat, and let us order as much food as we wanted.
Step 4: Get her to eat a lot of food and consume alcohol, that way she’ll have to go to the restroom, where you can get to business. We all know that big girls are severely gluttonous, and they certainly know it, but on a first date they might be ashamed of their natural habits. If she doesn’t want to order a lot of food, just order extra for yourself and eat it in front of her. Order a handful of mixed drinks too. She won’t be able to resist the temptation of eating some of your food and drinking it up. Be sure to select foods that have a decent amount of fiber.
Nigel on a dinner date.
Step 5: Wait for her to excuse herself to go to the restroom, then follow her in. If you followed through with Step 4 properly, she’ll have to use the restroom at some point to take a shit. Just follow her in. When you find her stall, tell her you brought a corndog to keep her company, then whip out your cock in front of her. Remember, bigger women rarely get any opportunities for intercourse, so the chance for a seedy bathroom surprise will be hard for her to turn down. Rip her clothes off, shake up the stall, and make sure you hit that pussy so hard she can’t get back up. After you bust a nut, tell her you will be at the table waiting for her, while she puts herself back together.
Step 6: Get the hell out of dodge, as quickly as possible! Get out of that restaurant, and get out of town as quickly as possible, before the waiter even totals the bill.
This is where I have to follow my own advice. One time after nailing my girl in the restroom, I made the mistake of walking back to my table. The manager was right there holding the bill in my face, it was like $550 dollars. Shit, I wasn’t about to stick around and clean their dishes for a week. I had to think fast. I tried to explain that I left my girl’s insulin in the car. He barely bought it. So I briskly but calmly made my exit, then I got in my truck and hit the gas!